day93

to tell the true, recentlly i am irritated at my boy friend. Basecally,  keeping talk with him is sometimes troublesome for me.  when i look back on the past i can remember that i usually feel that keeping relationship is troublesome for me. but yesterday my boyfriend decided the time to talk with each other. so if i have a another appointoment and cannot make it we have no choice.so i think i can reduce time to talk with him naturaly.haha

my host mother said to me i dont have to have worry and be nurvous. but i know i tend to think too much so i usualy has a lot of worry about everthing.of course i understand i am supposed to be more optimistic. and I wanna be like my friend who is oprimistic and talktive. i know i make me sad by myself. oh my gosh who knows about my feeling at all? I really really wanna be happy and satisfied with my life. maybe my ideal life is soooooooooooooooo completely.  i know everything about me but its difficult to change my thinking and my attitude.

oh its not good to be worry too much. ok. i start to think about other things. anyway im ganna start my job tomorrow. i wanna get used to the job and earn money as soon as possible. and my next goal is getting good place to live. if the location and cleanliness is good as i think i will decide to live there. i hope ican find suitable place. 

good night!